Those Sneaky Wipes!

So parents and all parents to be...be aware of the sneaky wipes. I tell you that they are alive, they must be. It's not possible that I have left them by Brayden's toes and all the sudden he's chewing on it or the dogs are tossing it around. In the span of 5 seconds as you powder their bottoms or pull out a diaper, a war between you and baby has spawned because they now think you are taking away THEIR TOY!!

Maybe Bradyen is trying to help me...hhmm...Nope... he just doesn't understand yet how "interesting" poop is! The dogs, on the other hand, know this already...so they don't have an excuse!

Socks and Soothers!

I need to take a moment and recommend to mamas everywhere two very important things!!

#1 Buy a little mesh net thing to put all your little one socks in. I have to admit I already have trouble with misplacing my own socks, but I swear the dryer hates me for some reason and purposefully eats up my fave socks!! It could at least take both of them and not put me in agony with the one! Anyways, if you don't figure out a way to keep track of those socks, you're in for a world of buying miniature socks over and over again! It's ironic because Brayden's room seems to be covered in misplaced socks, but somehow none of them go together!

#2 Put a little cord thing on their soothers if they use one. Lets face it people, IT'S GOING TO HIT THE FLOOR SOONER OR LATER!! My nephew Derek taught me this lesson more than anything. The funny part was though how shocked my sister was everytime it hit the floor. I'll have to admit she was pretty patient about it but none the less...Before you get so annoyed that you throw the soother across the room, just get a string thing...hey if you're in a pickle, just use an actual string...I finally tied a piece of ribbon to Derek's and TAH DAH!!

Just two little rules and I promise Mothering will be a Fabulous piece of cake!...

Piece of Cake meaning... less sleep, sweater with drool, hair in knots and so much more...

Pretty odd though how I don't think I'd change a thing...Bye till next time!

The Magical Poop!

The other day Ryan and I were talking and I realized that once again we were not discussing romantic matters of the heart...we were discussing poo...yes the excrement! I just want everyone to be aware that your conversations will become 50% poop related. So be warned not only will "excrement" land all over your relationship, it also has the tendancy to land on your clothes...

Picture this...I'm in the kitchen making a little something to eat...and Ryan starts yelling, "Steph, help, Help...HELP!" I run over and as if it had happened magically Brayden had managed to almost get nothing in his diaper and instead placed a lovely puddle of baby fecal matter on ryan's crotch! Well I did what any proud mother would do and looked for the camera so I could capture the moment! Unforunately I couldn't find it and Ryan was turning an usual color of red as he started to give me the look of death (P.S. Brayden looked like the happiest little clam there could be during this whole process, as Ryan dangled him in the air, leg covered in brown...or yellow...or was it green...anyways...)

So I grabbed my baby boy, we had a good chuckle together, and I walked right passed the wipes and straight to the bath. !!LESSON!! There's only so much wipes can do until a baby just smells like wipes and poo. NOT CUTE! This story reminds me of the time Brayden thought it would be funny to poo all over me when I was picking him out of the ncie clean bath he has just had...but I won't bore you with that one...I feel like it's better to laugh at Ryan's expense.

So there it is...Poop on my once, shame on the Baby...Poop on Ryan again and again...Hilarious!

The Big B's...they are not TOYS!

So ladies and gentlemen, it's time to discuss the B's! Those lovely breasts! Thank Goodness my sister was around to coach me through a lot of this, or I probably would have sat there looking at my girls, laughing and crying at the same time!

First off when you're pregnant the girls start to grow, and I've heard so many women talk about how excited they are for that part. Well ladies, may I suggest not getting over excited about your temporary breast enhancement. Like Ryan has said, it's like a bad joke from God to all dad's out there. "Looky looky, but no touchy or I might break your hands off!" Most often they are sensitive and they hurt, plain and simple. I couldn't sleep on them at all. Before going to bed, I swear I had to make extra cushion for my breasts and belly. We had a king size bed and yet Ryan could barely find a sliver on the bed for himself. lol. pretty hiliarious actually.

Once you have your cutie pie, you then get to start the often challenging journey of breastfeeding (if that is what you so choose) and even though it's one of the coolest bonding experiences I've had, it's also getting to know your body like a fridge instead of ...well a body! You literally wake up in the middle of night *SEVERAL TIMES* , take your shirt off and prepare to feel like a soother. You really have to put pride aside and realize it's a beautiful thing, otherwise you'll start to go crazy when your baby is just sitting there playing with your nipples. There have been times where it's 3 in the morning and I'm like "BRAYDEN, they are not toys, don't make me close down the bar!!"

Then there is the whole "sensual" aspect. "Will Ryan ever think of me the same way?" His answer made me laugh...think it went something like, "Ummm Steph...I'm pretty sure most guys have no problem getting over it. They are boobs, it's not very difficult" What was I thinking. Men are men, ha ha!

Yes this whole experience has made me realize that God has given us our bodies for so much more than...FUN ;) It requires patience and there might be some pretty humorious breakdowns, but along the way it's pretty amazing to see how nature has set us up to do one of the most amazing things I'm sure I'll get to do in my life :)

So...bottoms up!

What is wrong with our child??!! IS THAT TAR??

Alright folks, so when you have a baby, you imagine those first days, oh so wonderful...this amazing new addition to your life, the most unbelievable blessing ever! So true, but those first few days are also full of surprises. For example diaper changes...yes yes, I knew changing poopy diapers wasn't going to be the most beautiful aspect of our new cutie pie, but why didnt anyone tell us about THE TAR POO!!

Well let me tell you! For the first couple days your new bundle of joy will be extracting some kind of blackish tar substance. I swear the first time we saw it, I thought something was wrong with our child. You would have thought Ryan and I were performing suurgery that first diaper change. Its all a blur...there was running around the hospital room...some yelling at eachother followed by laughing! I think we went through like 12 towels and 3 diapers! So please prepare yourselves! Black tar poo apparently is good. Don't worry it won't last for long and will soon be YELLOW, LOL (APPARENTLY TOTALLY NORMAL TOO)!

So I have decided that becoming a parent has been the most interesting, funniest, amazing, embarassing, ridiculous, and absolutely most rewarding experience in my life so far. Everyday I learn something and I find myself constantly asking, "Why did someone not tell me about this?!"

So I'm going to write about these little experiences I am going through. If you're not a parent, you may find yourself having a good laugh thinking what is wrong with this person...If you are a parent, you might just be laughing in empathy,  thinking that just happened yesterday...and if nothing else I can at least look back on these and get a reality check when the next little one comes around!

-Mama KabStein